Q. How do you know if a guy loves you or wants to use you?

A. Step one is to only commit to a guy if you've had a long friendship with him, your family likes him, and you can see yourself marrying him. Also, practice the principles of courtship, here.

Secondly, do NOT pay attention to his words. His actions are what matters. I've seen relationships where the guy cheated on the girl, and as soon as he got caught, his first words were, "Baby, it's not what you think. I love you." Thankfully, the girl wasn't convinced, and she dumped him.

I think that girls easily get swept away by a guy's flattering words because the media tends to make women feel constantly imperfect. Therefore, the "I love you baby, you're so beautiful, you're the only one for me," language really sweeps away some girls.

But this is where a girl must have wisdom. No matter what he says, don't give him sexual stuff. If a guy pressures you to give him your body, then he doesn't love you. Period.

Although this will weed out a lot of immature guys, only time will reveal a man's intentions. One man said, "If I sensed there was a moral dilemma in her mind, I would play any role necessary to reach the point where sex became inevitable."(1) There are many good guys out there but there are also plenty of predators who will tell a girl whatever she wants to hear. Therefore, a girl needs to proceed slowly, develop the skill of listening to her heart, and have the courage to follow it. Otherwise, a young woman may be left feeling as this fifteen-year-old did: "I felt strange, and in a sense, used. It was like we were both caring for the same person--him. I felt left out of it."(2)
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1. McDowell, Why Wait?, 110.2. Joyce L. Vedral, Boyfriends: Getting Them, Keeping Them, Living Without Them (New York: Ballantine Books, 1990). As quoted by www.lovematters.com/teenstalk.htmURL: http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=132